I’m rushing but I wanted to share this. I have a good friend for years. He has been nothing but kind to me. But early last year, we fell out. We talked about what happened and we agreed to put it behind us. I put it behind me, but he did not.
Ultimately, we stopped speaking. But each time I remembered him, I felt nothing but friendship love for him. I lied to my other friends saying I didn’t miss him. Throughout last year and this year, I felt tempted to call him, but I said to myself, I made an effort already to reconcile our differences, and he is the one who can’t let go of the past.
I went in my phone and email accounts and deleted all his contact information so I wouldn’t feel forced to call him. In the last month, every day this friend kept coming in thoughts. I felt miserable. I thought I was a tough guy who could keep a malice, but obviously I’m very soft to love.
I didn’t want to call him mainly because I didn’t want to be the one who seemed like I missed the friendship. But a few days ago, I read something I had written years ago. It basically said, if love is the motivator, I should let it carry me wherever it wanted; the things that block love’s desires are pride, hate, and other non-peaceful things.
My own words inspired me. I realized I loved my friend because he was kind to me, and we were kind to each other. In this day and age, good friends are hard to come by, so may as well I cling to the ones I already have, especially if memory of them stirs love.
So I took up the phone and I called. He took two days to call back. During this time, I said: Shit, I shouldn’t have called him; because now he thinks I’m begging friendship. But I countered that thought with another: Let go of your pride, Dadland. Pride will sink you. Pride that tries to block love is the very thing that will block your happiness.
My friend called today. I answered the phone by calling his name, then I said, “I miss you.” He first reply was, “I miss you too.” Then I learned that he felt tempted to call me as well, but didn’t. We spoke for over an hour, as we normally did.
We agreed we were not going to talk about the past, but we ultimately got there. I realized I was the one who was wrong in the fall out we had. Yes, I couldn’t believe it took more than a year to realize I was wrong. Seriously, I had no idea I was wrong. All this while I had thought he was wrong. But when he replayed the issue today, I imagined I was he. That was how my eyes opened.
Anyway, we are friends again. Isn’t this great news! I really love my friends because I don’t have many of them, because I don’t deal with phonies. We agreed the break strengthened our friendship. We promised work on developing a stronger friendship.
I shared this, knowing many of you have friends whom you miss. If you love them, then they were good to you (I’m not talking about your ex-lovers now…lol). Because love only exists where there is an abundance of kindness.
I’d suggest you consider calling to repair a broken friendship. We aren’t getting younger. Some time it’s necessary to fight to keep our friends in the same way we fight to keep our families.